Emotional Fatigue Syndrome: Yes, it feels chronic

Things happen. Sometimes these events bring joy and laughter. Or “The Imperial March” plays while the Force wreaks doom and destruction.

Life always brings us both. Maybe not in equal doses, but if there was only gloom, we’d lay down and quit. I’ve tried this a few times. Apparently, I haven’t found the correct person to submit my letter of resignation to yet *shrugs*

When life mimics and emotional roller coaster, fatigue sets in.

Some of you might love the thrill of the sudden drops and twists of a roller coaster. Me? I’ll pass. Hand me the camera. I’ll snap a shot or two while you’re hanging upside down on the loop-de-loop.

Image from Wikipedia
Image from Wikipedia

Unfortunately, I don’t have the option of being a bystander on life’s roller coaster. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to just watch. Life is meant to be lived. You never know if you’ll get 10 years or 100, so it’s best to ride it for all it’s worth.

Sometimes my car needs to take a break though. My emotions aren’t built for the constant rubber-banding from one extreme to another. Finished a novel – success. Mom’s on hospice – disillusionment.

When it goes on for months, I feel like puking my tears and laughter out just so my chest can be empty for once. Numb. Not wrung like a dishtowel stuck in the agitator.

Two funerals in a week – sadness. Positive feedback from beta readers – encouragement. Interning the ashes – devastation. Waking up early to be reminded of the emptiness – bleak. Finishing the revisions on schedule – accomplishment. Ordering the sign for the memorial garden – lost.

And on and on it goes. Until my Emotional Fatigue Syndrome kicks into high gear, meaning I’m laid out flat. Sleep, yes please, rather than doing anything else. Sleep, not when it’s dark and quiet and everyone else snoozes.

Every muscle aches. How many times can I be thrown into that safety bar across my lap? Apparently, one more. Until my diaphragm is damaged, and I can no longer breathe.

Perfect. Suffocation will be better than grief. Unsurprisingly, they’re one and the same. Who knew?

The prescribed pills don’t push it back. Even the glorious sunshine struggles to keep the dark monster at bay.

How do I treat Emotional Fatigue Syndrome? Does anyone know where the lever is that shuts this emotional roller coaster off?

2 thoughts on “Emotional Fatigue Syndrome: Yes, it feels chronic

  1. I know how you feel Sharon. “How many times can I be thrown into that safety bar across my lap?” That’s exactly what it feels like. The wind knocked out of you. My brother was pushing me on a swing once, after I’d twisted in a circle and coiled myself up, so as I was swinging back and forth I was also spinning. Which is why I didn’t see the leg of the swing set before my body slammed into it. That’s what I experience now, at least once a day, and it sucks. It doesn’t even have to be the big things; sometimes it’s the little ones. And that double sucks, because at least with the big ones you expect it. But those little ones sneak up. It’s all nasty.

    I hope things level out a bit for you, even if it’s just for a while, so you can get off the roller coaster and stabilize yourself. Then you can get back on.

    1. Thanks, Kelly. Had an emotional weekend at a cancer fundraiser in memory of my mom. The writer’s conference with manuscript critique and agent pitch session is this coming weekend. I’m praying it levels out after this. I’m having trouble sleeping which makes me even more emotional.
      Good grief! There’s no winning sometimes.

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