High expectations rule in my world. But do I have the right to hold others to the standard? Especially since I so often fall short?
You know what I mean. We have ideals. Things are important to us – and other people should value them, too.
Or should they?
Rewind to my post about wedding traditions.
Was it okay for me to expect people to dress a certain way for the small ceremony? After all, I didn’t feel it was right for someone else to judge me based on what I was wearing.
This double-standard isn’t reserved for special events. We operate in its shadow every day.
A few examples
- Conservation of natural resources is important – but I drive a gas-guzzling SUV
- It’s unhealthy not to eat fruits or vegetables at every meal – and I have cheese and crackers
- Communication is essential to any relationship – but when was the last time I really listened to my sons?
- Surfing the net or checking Facebook while “on the clock” is the same as stealing from your boss, but I’m taking a break here in my home office
Why this bothers me
I believe in freedom of choice. For everyone. I also believe a true standard of right and wrong exists, and that we’ll all be held accountable for how well we matched it.
I’m not the judge of that standard, however.
Most days I can’t even reach the bottom of its loftiness while standing on tiptoes on the step ladder.
Why do I expect others to measure up?
Is it wrong to have a standard? Or does the problem come when I expect other people to conform to my wishes?
None of us can measure up to the standard. All of us will mess up at one point or another.
I guess we should give up – stop trying to be a better person. That will solve things.
Better yet, we should lower our standards. That way, everyone measures up.
We talk about acceptance, but we still believe our way is right. Is it wrong to have convictions?
What’s wrong is expecting everyone else to have the same standards we hold. Why should they be accountable for meeting them when we stumbled and fell on our face?
In truth, it’s time for people to do a mirror check. And I despise mirrors. I like to think I’m still young and thin. The mirror tells me otherwise.
It should be the same for our standards. Do we expect others to listen to us, but we don’t listen to them? Are we imposing our dress code and moral code on others?
Can you think of a particular time someone’s double-standard shocked, amazed or angered you?