Tag: negative

Dating Tips from Wonder Woman

Superheroes can’t date. Or maybe they can date, but they can’t fall in love.

“Love is like a bullet in the head” – DeadShot from Arrow

This doesn’t mean our gal Wonder Woman doesn’t have dating guidelines. After all, she’s a pretty opinionated person. How could she be an American icon without addressing the institution that births so much romance?

Green Lights

Some things the opposite sex says and does make even WW consider the whole dating game. After all, she’s entitled to a night out that doesn’t involve fighting and chasing.

Or maybe you think a good date involves a little bit of both of those things.

In any case, here are a few green lights that let you know a person might be worth dating:

  • They don’t have Superman hair
  • They offer up genuine compliments
  • Their flirting isn’t status quo with everyone they meet
  • They smile more than they frown
  • They can talk about things that interest you (talking about books earns triple points)
  • They take pride in their appearance
  • They are more interested in YOU than in giving you the low-down on themselves

It doesn’t hurt anything  if your eyes don’t bleed when you look at them. And if you have a shared hobby that can act as a first date locale, it’s even better. (I’m thinking Giants baseball, but WW is looking hard at the Air Museum.)

Red Flags

Sadly, it’s much more likely for the red flags to start popping up after a few dates. Most people but on their best behavior when they first ask someone out on a date. If you spot any of these flags BEFORE the first date, run fast and far in the other direction.

These are obvious signs that a date will be less than fun:

  • They check themselves out in the mirror or fish for compliments
  • All conversation revolves around them
  • They interrupt you when you’re talking
  • They say negative things about other people
  • They flirt with others while you’re together
  • They don’t like to read (WW shook her head over this one, so I lined it out)
  • They spend more time checking their phone than interacting with you
  • They flash cash or name drop or try to impress you with superficial things

Yes, these are all huge hints that as far as this relationship goes the bridge is out ahead. It’s one reason why WW prefers to hang out with her friends over spending time with someone she might find attractive or date-able.

Keep it Fun

Dating can be an entertaining aside, but WW opposes the idea that dating never leads to anything more. Most people use the dating game to sift through possible marriage candidates.

WW has no intention of putting a non-hero in the line of fire.

However, if two people honestly are just looking for companionship, dating can be one way to find it. Friends can date. Dating doesn’t automatically indicate a romantic liaison.

If you’re dating just for fun, let people know up front. Maybe not before the first or second date (because “I’m dating just for fun” puts some people off), but definitely before things heat up to a beyond-friendship level.

Do you have any dating advice for Wonder Woman? Is Steve Trevor her one and only love? Do you agree or disagree with her tips?

When I’m THAT Person

Confession time. *cringes* Sometimes I do exactly the thing I despise when other people do it. Yes, I’m THAT person. And it makes me feel worse than ashamed.

I’m sure there are dozens of examples of this shortcoming. However, a recent one nags at the back of my mind. I hope by letting it hang out here, it will stop plaguing my supposed-to-be-sleeping time.

THAT Person

Close to two decades ago now, I had my first opportunity to travel somewhere simply because my husband was going there for work.

At the time, I had two preschool-aged children, so it’s safe to say I didn’t get out much. I NEVER got out of the state.

My husband had a class in Gaithersburg, MD, which is less than an hour from our nation’s capital. He was there for two weeks and wanted me to fly down for the weekend he had to stay over.

Since it was near tax refund time, he opted to use some of the refund money to purchase my plane ticket. Other than food and entertainment (much of which is 100 percent free in DC), that was the largest expense.

At a family dinner a week or two before the trip, I was babbling excitedly about getting away and seeing the history in Washington, DC.

THAT person asked, “How long are you going to be there?”

“Two days.”

“That’s not enough time to see anything.”

Balloon of excitement immediately deflates for me. I did manage to listen as Killjoy suggested what my top sightseeing priorities should be, but really I wanted to cry.

(Much of my reaction had to do with this person because they seemed intent on demeaning anything I ever talked about or did.)

THAT Person is Me

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago.

Someone was making a spur-of-the-moment trip to Virginia with their family. They didn’t plan to have much free time, but they wanted to get to Washington, DC.

Side note: if you’re an American citizen and have never visited the nation’s capital, you owe yourself a trip. I’m not much of a history buff, but there is so much there and it brings important people and events of our national heritage to life.

My husband was talking about parking problems and other things.

I said, “A few hours? That’s not enough time to see anything.”

Yes, indeed. I actually said the EXACT same words as THAT person. In that moment, I was THAT person, throwing my wet blanket over someone else’s excitement.

My husband gave me a side-long glare, but he didn’t say anything. He still hasn’t said anything. But as often as I’ve brought up THAT person’s negative tone, I know he had to be thinking about it.

His look said, “Really? You’re going to be THAT person? Don’t you remember how crushed you felt when that happened?”

And suddenly I did.

I’m a jerk extraordinaire. I’ve plummeted to an all-time low point in human compassion.

Kill me now.

Okay, let’s not go overboard.

But it was too late to take the words back. I was no longer standing in the conversation to try and backtrack and apologize.

So here is my very public apology. I’m sorry for being a total jerk about your quick trip to DC. I hope you got to see some incredible things and soak in the nostalgic air of patriotism.

I don’t want to be THAT person. Never again.

What about you? Have you ever done something similar? Please, save me from feeling like the biggest cruel idiot in the world.

Attitude Update

#BePositivein2015 is my annual focus. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve been barraged with posts having this hashtag or something like #Positiveattitude.

Does that mean I haven’t said a negative word all year? Or that all my thoughts have been positive and uplifting?

I won’t dare God to send a lightning bolt my way by responding to those questions.

Obviously, I’ve had a few negative moments hours days. Who can live in the midst of this tumultuous world and not experience a few BB shots to their outlook?

Not-So-Positives

Overall, 2015 had offered many positive changes in my life. Of course, change isn’t easy, even when it’s expected and desirable.

If I could compartmentalize my life, it would fall into five loose categories: Physical Health, Spiritual Health, Family Life, Writing Career, and Social Outlets.

In every category, I have experienced change and growth in 2015.

positive-attitude quotespositiveWhen we’re talking Physical Health, growth isn’t necessarily a good thing. But I have – put on the pounds that is. Now that summer is here, my 30-year class reunion is mere weeks away and a special vacation is planned for January 2016, I need to cut myself down to size.

I work out because it sends endorphins into my system and works as an antidote to the depression that plagues me (especially during gray months). However, my eating habits have become horrible.

A plan for improving this is in place. Starting today. (So if I seem grouchier than usual, blame it on the lack of chocolate, which isn’t on my eating plan.)

My Spiritual Health always resembles a roller coaster ride. And we all know how I feel about roller coasters, so this isn’t a positive thing. I’m working on it.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know the Family Life compartment has been spewing into all the others. There are changes (and there will be more when my son gets married in January). I haven’t handled some of them with good grace. In fact, for many weeks this area has become nearly a negative in my world.

Finally, the Social Outlets have been nearly non-existent for several years. Since I started working from home, really. I am building relationships with other writers, but I’m in sad need of other friendships.

Positives

Wait! What about my Writing Career?

That has been the one bright spot in my world since my first acceptance letter in November 2014.

It isn’t all sunshine and sparkles, though. I’ve recently recieved two rejections for short stories I worked diligently to perfect before submitting. One of them, a YA sci-fi historical, really made me feel proud. I’ll be seeking a home for it elsewhere.

The YA romance wasn’t as polished, but the subject matter is gravely important. I intended to run a blog series about the antagonistic issue in the story – Non-Suicidal Self Injury (often called cutting) – to raise awareness – and prime my audience for the story.

How are rejections positive? They mean I’m finishing projects and putting them out into the world. That’s what professional writers do.

I also had a short story accepted. I’m not really free to talk about this until the official release comes from the publisher. You can expect an entire post dedicated to it once that happens.

Looking Forward

I’m still trying to focus on the positive. I hope it becomes a lifestyle for me.

At the moment, I need your help. I’ve exhausted the seemingly endless supply of upbeat quotes about having a positive attitude.

Do you have words of wisdom along these theme to share? Maybe you’ve been inspired to stay positive by someone else’s words?

Please share these in the comments below. I will make memes of all and share them via Twitter. If the words belong to someone else, please credit them.

If you don’t want your wisdom plastered around the Twitter-sphere, mention that in your comment. But please, PLEASE share the hope with me.