Tag: guest room

The fine art of double-standard

Hypocrite

High expectations rule in my world. But do I have the right to hold others to the standard? Especially since I so often fall short?

You know what I mean. We have ideals. Things are important to us – and other people should value them, too.

Or should they?

Rewind to my post about wedding traditions.

Was it okay for me to expect people to dress a certain way for the small ceremony? After all, I didn’t feel it was right for someone else to judge me based on what I was wearing.

This double-standard isn’t reserved for special events. We operate in its shadow every day.

A few examples

  • Conservation of natural resources is important – but I drive a gas-guzzling SUV
  • It’s unhealthy not to eat fruits or vegetables at every meal – and I have cheese and crackers
  • Communication is essential to any relationship – but when was the last time I really listened to my sons?
  • Surfing the net or checking Facebook while “on the clock” is the same as stealing from your boss, but I’m taking a break here in my home office

Why this bothers me

I believe in freedom of choice. For everyone. I also believe a true standard of right and wrong exists, and that we’ll all be held accountable for how well we matched it.

I’m not the judge of that standard, however.

Most days I can’t even reach the bottom of its loftiness while standing on tiptoes on the step ladder.

Why do I expect others to measure up?

Is it wrong to have a standard? Or does the problem come when I expect other people to conform to my wishes?

The truth

None of us can measure up to the standard. All of us will mess up at one point or another.

I guess we should give up – stop trying to be a better person. That will solve things.

Better yet, we should lower our standards. That way, everyone measures up.

We talk about acceptance, but we still believe our way is right. Is it wrong to have convictions?

What’s wrong is expecting everyone else to have the same standards we hold. Why should they be accountable for meeting them when we stumbled and fell on our face?

In truth, it’s time for people to do a mirror check. And I despise mirrors. I like to think I’m still young and thin. The mirror tells me otherwise.

It should be the same for our standards. Do we expect others to listen to us, but we don’t listen to them? Are we imposing our dress code and moral code on others?

Can you think of a particular time someone’s double-standard shocked, amazed or angered you?

Graduation Blues

These blues have little to do with sitting on uncomfortable bleacher seats for two hours. I’ve never sat comfortably through a single graduation ceremony. I think a stiff backside is a requirement.

As usual, the robes were black, so no actual “blues” there.

Okay, the ticket was blue after all.
Okay, the ticket was blue after all.

Maybe it was just a rough day because the sun smiled on the ceremony and I was stuck in the covered grandstand.

Or it could have been the overcrowded seating area and being unable to sit with my husband. At least we had a seat, thanks to a kind gentleman who moved people aside to give us three seats together (even though there were four women needing them.)

In fact, the biggest blues factor could be the noise coming from the “guest” bedroom.

Our empty nest is no longer empty.

The positives

  • Graduation day was gorgeous.
  • Since he graduated from a Christian college, there was prayer, scripture reading and a Christ-centered focus throughout the speeches.
  • My son graduated cum laude AND he won award for the Outstanding Marketing student in the graduating class.
  • Delicious meal with family at Red Robin after the ceremony.
  • He finished. He has a lead on a job. He’s moving on to the next stage of life: adulthood. (He might not see that as a POSITIVE in a few years).
  • I am proud.
  • I’m not spending the week totally alone while my husband is traveling – again. (Would you like to hear more about this in a later post?)

The not-so-positives

  • He keeps talking to me when I’m trying to work.
  • He rolled his eyes when I asked him to clean the bathroom.
  • There are boxes scattered in the hallway and junk in the living room (by JUNK, I mean game systems and related wires, controllers, etc.)
  • I’m not totally alone in the house – meaning, I will have to cook. I can’t just enjoy easy meals. (See this post for details.)
  • The guest room is a cluttered mess. AND there is no longer room for a guest.

Let’s face it, the positives have everything to do with graduation and the “nots” are all about adjusting my schedule and home. You know, to adapt to having an adult child residing here again.

When have you experienced mixed feelings about a life event? Isn’t anything ever all positive?