Tag: encouragement

Courage: The Flip Side of Fear

On this day when we remember the brave men and women who died to secure our constitutional liberties, a post about courage (bravery, dauntlessness) seems more than appropriate. The fact that Bravery is heads on the coin where fear is tails might not be as welcome.
In an article on Literary Hub, another author introduced me to this phrase: “Fear and bravery are different sides of the same coin.”
Since I’ve chosen to be DAUNTLESS in 2017, I wanted to reject this simple assertion.

                               “I’m defeating and banishing fear from my heart, mind and life.”

Isn’t that what it means to be dauntless?


But according to Hala Alyan, maybe I’ve been going about this dauntless thing all wrong.

NO Fear

I’ve been working under the assumption that if I’m feeling afraid and anxious about something, I’m not being brave.

Which goes in the face of one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain, Franklin Roosevelt and Nelson Mandela. Yes, it’s such a great thought that many people have reiterated it in their own words over the centuries.

To conquer my fears, I must continue to move forward through the fire I’m sure will burn me. The Dauntless jump off the train with abandon onto the platform near their living quarters.

They might have learned to be adrenaline junkies, but the first (dozen) times they jumped, their hearts, lungs and stomachs surely rebelled. Their brains wanted to draw back, play it safe, keep away from pain and injury.

Every time they successfully completed the jump, the Dauntless experienced a different sort of adrenaline rush. Rather than fear, anticipation welled in them. They had tricked their brain into enjoying the dangerous activity.

          Strange how terror and anticipation can provoke the same physical reactions in our mind and body.

But our soul knows the truth. It knows if we’re still afraid deep down or if we’ve overcome that particular anxiety.

Being Dauntless

Once we’ve mastered jumping off the train, it means we need to find a new terror to conquer.
Or not.

Does being dauntless mean a continual rush into situations that overwhelm our safety barriers? If we’re playing it safe, does it mean our dauntless spirit will starve to death?

Continual stress kills. And pumping adrenaline through our veins is exactly what stress does.
I don’t think it’s healthy to live on the edge where our bodies experience constant anxiety, fear or terror.
Being dauntless doesn’t mean becoming an adrenaline junkie and heading for an early grave. Either from a broken bungee line or a heart attack from too much stress.

                                               And dead is dead.

Dauntless me isn’t looking for death. But DM should be willing to stare death in the face.

In my world, that’s more the death of expectations, death of dreams and death of pride. If I write a young adult fantasy novel and no one wants to read it, that kills the part of me with a message for those readers.
But it doesn’t mean I’m not dauntless if I change genres.

If the nonfiction book doesn’t garner interest with publishers, will I self-publish it myself? If I believe in its message strongly enough, yes.

And if only a handful of people read it and it helps even one person, it has succeeded in the purpose I have for it. Yes, if the sales are this slow, there will be death to the dream of becoming a best-selling nonfiction author and sought-after speaker.

But it doesn’t mean I wasn’t dauntless in the moment-by-moment action of living out my calling to write words that encourage others.

It takes courage to face rejection and failure. But if Two Face can flip the coin, so can I.

Do you agree that courage and fear are sides of the same coin? How would you define courage?

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Attitude Update

#BePositivein2015 is my annual focus. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve been barraged with posts having this hashtag or something like #Positiveattitude.

Does that mean I haven’t said a negative word all year? Or that all my thoughts have been positive and uplifting?

I won’t dare God to send a lightning bolt my way by responding to those questions.

Obviously, I’ve had a few negative moments hours days. Who can live in the midst of this tumultuous world and not experience a few BB shots to their outlook?

Not-So-Positives

Overall, 2015 had offered many positive changes in my life. Of course, change isn’t easy, even when it’s expected and desirable.

If I could compartmentalize my life, it would fall into five loose categories: Physical Health, Spiritual Health, Family Life, Writing Career, and Social Outlets.

In every category, I have experienced change and growth in 2015.

positive-attitude quotespositiveWhen we’re talking Physical Health, growth isn’t necessarily a good thing. But I have – put on the pounds that is. Now that summer is here, my 30-year class reunion is mere weeks away and a special vacation is planned for January 2016, I need to cut myself down to size.

I work out because it sends endorphins into my system and works as an antidote to the depression that plagues me (especially during gray months). However, my eating habits have become horrible.

A plan for improving this is in place. Starting today. (So if I seem grouchier than usual, blame it on the lack of chocolate, which isn’t on my eating plan.)

My Spiritual Health always resembles a roller coaster ride. And we all know how I feel about roller coasters, so this isn’t a positive thing. I’m working on it.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know the Family Life compartment has been spewing into all the others. There are changes (and there will be more when my son gets married in January). I haven’t handled some of them with good grace. In fact, for many weeks this area has become nearly a negative in my world.

Finally, the Social Outlets have been nearly non-existent for several years. Since I started working from home, really. I am building relationships with other writers, but I’m in sad need of other friendships.

Positives

Wait! What about my Writing Career?

That has been the one bright spot in my world since my first acceptance letter in November 2014.

It isn’t all sunshine and sparkles, though. I’ve recently recieved two rejections for short stories I worked diligently to perfect before submitting. One of them, a YA sci-fi historical, really made me feel proud. I’ll be seeking a home for it elsewhere.

The YA romance wasn’t as polished, but the subject matter is gravely important. I intended to run a blog series about the antagonistic issue in the story – Non-Suicidal Self Injury (often called cutting) – to raise awareness – and prime my audience for the story.

How are rejections positive? They mean I’m finishing projects and putting them out into the world. That’s what professional writers do.

I also had a short story accepted. I’m not really free to talk about this until the official release comes from the publisher. You can expect an entire post dedicated to it once that happens.

Looking Forward

I’m still trying to focus on the positive. I hope it becomes a lifestyle for me.

At the moment, I need your help. I’ve exhausted the seemingly endless supply of upbeat quotes about having a positive attitude.

Do you have words of wisdom along these theme to share? Maybe you’ve been inspired to stay positive by someone else’s words?

Please share these in the comments below. I will make memes of all and share them via Twitter. If the words belong to someone else, please credit them.

If you don’t want your wisdom plastered around the Twitter-sphere, mention that in your comment. But please, PLEASE share the hope with me.

It’s all about the Attitude

positive-attitude quotespositive

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve seen the daily memes. They’ll stop soon. There can’t be 365 unique quotes about having a positive attitude.

Life should be an adventure. And as I learned on my biking trip in Hawaii, the key to enjoying an adventure is to have the right attitude.

Some people would say there are only two types of attitudes: positive and negative. Or maybe good and bad. But I think attitudes are colored in shades of gray.

Negative

At the black end of the spectrum is the naysayer. You know who I’m talking about. They just won the lottery – and complain about the amount of taxes they have to pay.

Any normal person takes at least a few minutes to jump around like a maniac, shrieking in delight. But a blackened attitude doesn’t see a good side.

It’s difficult to spend more than a few minutes with this person. Why? You feel like crying. Or strangling them. Or jumping off the nearest cliff.

Or heading back to bed – with earplugs so you don’t have to listen to their downer-isms any longer.

It’s Eeyore, but without the cuteness.

Bad-ish

Thankfully, there aren’t too many people with a full-blown negative attitude. At least not as a permanent fixture in their personality.

We can excuse it when they’ve had a bad day, been fired from their job, wrecked their car or lost someone they loved. If they were all sunshine and roses in those moments, we’d question their mental health.

The type of person that bugs me is the dark gray bad attitude. This is the person who takes it upon themselves to rain on everyone’s happiness.

“I just got a raise.”

“Uncle Sam thanks you for the additional taxes he’s getting,” Says Big Gray. Really? How about a “congratulations” before you burst my joy with your sharp words?

This type of person is worse than Mr. Black because I can’t be myself around them. I’m constantly keeping my excitement about life inside because I don’t want it sullied by their caustic commentary.best-quotes-on-attitude

Average

Somewhere at the mid-scale gray is where most of us reside. We have good days when we can spout appropriately positive remarks upon hearing the good news.

We’re quick to agree with those whose day was less than charming, consoling them with a few black comments of our own. All in the name of being there for them.

Good-ish

There is a silver-hued attitude. We know some people like this. They always have something upbeat to say no matter what the situation.

“I lost my job.”

“That’s terrible, but truthfully, you’ve seemed pretty unhappy with it the past few months anyway. Now you can find something better.” Oh the brilliance of their shiny silver-tongued words.

But do they mean them?

Often, the people who are eternally optimistic make me suspicious. It’s not that I don’t believe you can have a positive outlook all the time (we’ll get to that next), but because sometimes turning the tables on a disaster is the wrong move.

Don’t they care that I lost my job? Their positive spin minimizes my anguish over the bad turn I must endure.

Positive

What on earth does she think a positive attitude looks like, then? If it isn’t the person who always has something nice to say, what else is there?

True empathy.

“We had to put my dog to sleep.”

If you try to put a positive spin on this, you’ll alienate that person. Go ahead. Try it. Give me your positive comment below.

Sometimes no words are the most positive thing you can offer. Sharing their tears and wrapping them up in a hug are great ways to fill the silence.

Seriously.

How is this positive?

When that person thinks back on that difficult time, your kindness will stand out. They might even tell you how much they appreciated that you didn’t try to console them with words.

I’m a writer, but sometimes there are no words that are situation-appropriate.

The person with the crystal-white positive attitude exercises wisdom with their tongue. They have upbeat words when that is what fits the moment. Helpful words flow from their lips when a person spews negativity and there is a positive antidote.

Ms. Positive knows that sometimes a smile, shared tears, or physical comfort is the positive “shot in the arm” to remedy truly heartbroken moments of negativity.

In the end, life is all about the attitude you face it with. Where are you on this scale? Or maybe you see it in black and white. Let’s discuss it.

Dare NOT to compare yourself to others

 

In February, I discovered a fantastic author. I’ve read two of her nonfiction books and recommend them highly for anyone struggling to find their calling or purpose in life.

First of all, I read You’re already Amazing by Holley Gerth after my pastor’s wife read only a few paragraphs from the book aloud. It sounded like this woman was speaking with me directly. Her voice was honest and authentic.

After finishing that book, and it’s a process that takes several weeks because you don’t read – you journal and soul-search, I opened one that seemed even more appropriate. This one was called You’re made for a God-Sized Dream. Yep, perfect for someone who quit their day job to pursue the old goal of becoming a published writer.

I wasn’t disappointed in either book.

Since that time, I’ve followed Holley’s blog. Every Wednesday, she writes a post of Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150encouragement. On her site, she encourages her readers to link up their own encouraging posts. It’s an excellent idea that she call’s “Coffee for your Heart.”

Today’s post spoke to the heart of an issue I know many of us struggle with: comparison. We look around us and see people who look better, drive a nicer car, make more money, have designer clothes or seem to have their act together while we’re struggling to keep our head above water. Read the encouragement here.

What do you think? Do you struggle with comparing yourself to other people? If you do, have you noticed that it never helps you attain what they have? Instead, it demoralizes you and makes you want to throw your hands up and quit.

Let’s brainstorm ways we can change this destructive tendency to compare. In fact, I DARE you not to compare yourself to anyone for the rest of this week. Can you do it?

Seldom is Heard an Encouraging Word – Hear some Here!

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” Nelson Mandela

DO IT Quote

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. ” Corrie Ten Boom

Maya Angelou quote“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis.

Negative Thoughts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Every mountaintop is within reach if you just keep climbing.”  Barry Finlay

I hope these quotes inspire you to encourage others today.

What are your favorite inspirational quotes?

Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150