Tag: anxiety

Courage: The Flip Side of Fear

On this day when we remember the brave men and women who died to secure our constitutional liberties, a post about courage (bravery, dauntlessness) seems more than appropriate. The fact that Bravery is heads on the coin where fear is tails might not be as welcome.
In an article on Literary Hub, another author introduced me to this phrase: “Fear and bravery are different sides of the same coin.”
Since I’ve chosen to be DAUNTLESS in 2017, I wanted to reject this simple assertion.

                               “I’m defeating and banishing fear from my heart, mind and life.”

Isn’t that what it means to be dauntless?


But according to Hala Alyan, maybe I’ve been going about this dauntless thing all wrong.

NO Fear

I’ve been working under the assumption that if I’m feeling afraid and anxious about something, I’m not being brave.

Which goes in the face of one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain, Franklin Roosevelt and Nelson Mandela. Yes, it’s such a great thought that many people have reiterated it in their own words over the centuries.

To conquer my fears, I must continue to move forward through the fire I’m sure will burn me. The Dauntless jump off the train with abandon onto the platform near their living quarters.

They might have learned to be adrenaline junkies, but the first (dozen) times they jumped, their hearts, lungs and stomachs surely rebelled. Their brains wanted to draw back, play it safe, keep away from pain and injury.

Every time they successfully completed the jump, the Dauntless experienced a different sort of adrenaline rush. Rather than fear, anticipation welled in them. They had tricked their brain into enjoying the dangerous activity.

          Strange how terror and anticipation can provoke the same physical reactions in our mind and body.

But our soul knows the truth. It knows if we’re still afraid deep down or if we’ve overcome that particular anxiety.

Being Dauntless

Once we’ve mastered jumping off the train, it means we need to find a new terror to conquer.
Or not.

Does being dauntless mean a continual rush into situations that overwhelm our safety barriers? If we’re playing it safe, does it mean our dauntless spirit will starve to death?

Continual stress kills. And pumping adrenaline through our veins is exactly what stress does.
I don’t think it’s healthy to live on the edge where our bodies experience constant anxiety, fear or terror.
Being dauntless doesn’t mean becoming an adrenaline junkie and heading for an early grave. Either from a broken bungee line or a heart attack from too much stress.

                                               And dead is dead.

Dauntless me isn’t looking for death. But DM should be willing to stare death in the face.

In my world, that’s more the death of expectations, death of dreams and death of pride. If I write a young adult fantasy novel and no one wants to read it, that kills the part of me with a message for those readers.
But it doesn’t mean I’m not dauntless if I change genres.

If the nonfiction book doesn’t garner interest with publishers, will I self-publish it myself? If I believe in its message strongly enough, yes.

And if only a handful of people read it and it helps even one person, it has succeeded in the purpose I have for it. Yes, if the sales are this slow, there will be death to the dream of becoming a best-selling nonfiction author and sought-after speaker.

But it doesn’t mean I wasn’t dauntless in the moment-by-moment action of living out my calling to write words that encourage others.

It takes courage to face rejection and failure. But if Two Face can flip the coin, so can I.

Do you agree that courage and fear are sides of the same coin? How would you define courage?

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Surrendering Fear

It’s a new year with a new focus, but the old fear hovers nearby.

What’s with that anyway?

I mean, I’m determined to trust in God and let love banish fear and then…wham, something unexpected ties me in emotional knots.

Could it be that I’ve lost my focus so quickly?

Or maybe I haven’t truly opened my hands in surrender.

After all, this is spiritual warfare. And it a war, there’s struggle and death and fear galore. Until one side says “enough” and seeks peace.

psalm-27-3

Here’s some wise words from life coach Holley Gerth:

I tried to control everything so that I could get a specific outcome. Tests and temperatures, appointments and articles. I held on as tightly to my goal as I did to the one-lined pregnancy tests at the end of every month.

Then slowly, slowly I felt like God brought me to a point where I finally said, “Whatever.” Not “Whatever” (with the sarcastic tone and eye roll—although some days I did indeed want to say that). But “Whatever, Lord. I am surrendering my expectations. I’m surrendering what I’ve been demanding.” I waved the white flag and I let trust win.

People would ask, “How do you feel about your infertility?” And I would say, “I have a peace about it.” And they would look at me like, “Yeah, yeah, Sunday School answer.”

And I said, “No, it’s the kind of peace that comes after war. And I fought for it. I will surrender everything else but not that peace.”

It was that peace that replaced my fear, that set me free.

To read the rest of her post, click here.

So, are you still trying to defeat fear on your own terms?

Did something ugly sneak up on you and wrap your peace in chains?

You can be free from fear. It begins by surrendering to the Commander in Chief of the universe.

Remember, he’s the one that has mad lion taming skills. His is the heel that crushed the head of our enemy.

Let go of the anguish caused by fear. Wave the white flag. Let the peace that passes all understanding flood your heart instead.

What’s making you afraid today? Can you surrender it to the Prince of Peace?

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Attending my First Writer’s Conference – Pre-Conference Post

Willamette-Writers2When this post goes live, I will actually be in Portland, Oregon, at the Lloyd Center Doubletree Hotel experiencing the joys of registering for my first ever writer’s conference.

As I write this, it is exactly two weeks in the future and I’m nauseous anxious excited about the prospect. I printed out the daily schedule months ago. I’ve hounded the organizers about getting my meeting appointments ( which can’t happen until the Thursday it begins).

In fact, this is a (non-exhaustive) list of things I’ve done in anticipation of this conference:

  • Print out a daily schedule
  • Read through every class description
  • Read the bios of the presenters
  • Polish the first 20 pages of my manuscript and submitted it for a critique with a published author
  • Prepare a One Sheet for the book I’m going to pitch
  • Write, practice, stress over, scratch and rewrite my pitch for the agent meeting I’ve scheduled
  • Research parking lots and restaurants within walking distance of the conference center
  • Scour my closet for the perfect casual-professional outfit that includes shoes comfortable enough to wear while walking all over the city
  • Awake at 4:30 am on multiple occasions to rework my pitch
  • Review the schedule
  • Give myself positive self-talk about interacting with strangers
  • Read numerous blogs with tips for what to do (or not) at a conference

Aren’t you exhausted reading that? I am.StoryEngineweb

One of my go-to writing gurus is the keynote speaker: Larry Brooks. Yes, the one and same master of story structure who I’ve quoted innumerable times on this blog. If you don’t own his book Story Engineering, you need to click on that link and add it to your reference library now.

The Amazing Mr. Brooks is giving us Story 101, 202 and 303 (which I will miss since I’m not attending on Sunday). I’m going to learn how idea, concept and premise are related and when they collide (sounds messy) that’s when I know I have a story. And of course he’s giving the “Discovering Story through Structure” talk on Saturday. It’s his trademark.

Aside from the Amazing Mr. Brooks, I’ll hear agents, editors and other writers spill the beans about different aspects of writing. Here is a list of sessions I hope to attend while at the conference:

  • Agent panel
  • Crafting a Page Turner
  • The Perfect Pitch
  • The Final Polish
  • Dialogue for Fiction and Film
  • POV in Genre Fiction

I’m attending with a local writing buddy. She will sit in on four different sessions (and some of the same) and promises to take copious notes (meaning she expects me to do the same). My head feels like exploding already.

Feel free to share your conference experiences here. Also, I’ll be writing about it in several more posts over the next two weeks.