This week hasn’t gone according to plan. And that really shouldn’t surprise any of us. But when someone suggests I need an appointment with Dr. Doom?
Blog posts are born.
If you’re at all interested in the Marvel Comic Universe (and you probably realize I follow it through the films), what comes to your mind when you hear the name Dr. Doom?
Victor Von Doom the supervillain who is the archnemesis of the Fantastic Four.
If you’re not a fan of those comics, maybe you have a totally different thought.
Here are a few of mine:
There are some names that doctors should not have.
When I was in high school I dated a college guy who wanted to be a doctor.
His last name was Gouge.
As in Doctor-Gouge-out-your-eyes
And a gynecologist named Doom? I’m pretty sure that’s not any better.
I’m in the delivery room, getting ready to push a baby into the world. My doctor isn’t there yet, so the hospital sends out a page.
Over the intercom everyone hears: “Dr. Doom to delivery room four. Dr. Doom your patient is ready to deliver.”
My child is going to be guided into the world by Dr. Doom?
Rules for Doctor Names
In this world where the government seems to have a say about everything else, I figure we may as well install some rules about names doctors can have.
After all, doctors are healers. They are supposed to inspire a sense of confidence in their patients.
When they step in to the exam room, hold out a hand and say, “I’m Dr. Doom. It’s nice to meet you” that doesn’t exactly happen.
After you banish pictures of Juilan McMahon from your mind (who this woman in front of you obviously is NOT),
your brain starts the chant.
Doom. Doom. Doom.
It’s the drumbeat telling you to escape while you still can.
Tell me, would you want to be treated by Dr. Payne? Dr. Hurt? Dr. Dent? Dr. Fang? Dr. Rash?
Maybe a surgeon named Dr. Skinner would send you screaming from the room. Or Dr. Lynch? Dr. Slaughter? Dr. Kilgore? Dr. Blood?
Some names would make you scratch your head, wondering if it was a sign or portent of things to come. Names like Dr. Kwak, Dr. Stasik, Dr. Gutman or Dr. Lecher.
My Sad Story
I didn’t actually get to meet Dr. Doom. The emergency room physician referred me to her, but she was booked for this week.
I had to see her associate, Dr. Rangle. And no, she didn’t have to wrangle me into the stirrups or hog tie me. Regardless of what her name implies.
Have you ever met a doctor whose name instilled something other than confidence? Share your stories below.
I’m off to Hawaii in the morning, but my blogs will still appear while I’m gone. I promise to fill you in if anything noteworthy happens while I’m basking under the Waikiki sunshine.
But I’m really hoping for an uneventful trip. Wouldn’t want to have to see Dr. Doom when I get back.
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