Superheroes can’t date. Or maybe they can date, but they can’t fall in love.
“Love is like a bullet in the head” – DeadShot from Arrow
This doesn’t mean our gal Wonder Woman doesn’t have dating guidelines. After all, she’s a pretty opinionated person. How could she be an American icon without addressing the institution that births so much romance?
Some things the opposite sex says and does make even WW consider the whole dating game. After all, she’s entitled to a night out that doesn’t involve fighting and chasing.
Or maybe you think a good date involves a little bit of both of those things.
In any case, here are a few green lights that let you know a person might be worth dating:
They don’t have Superman hair
They offer up genuine compliments
Their flirting isn’t status quo with everyone they meet
They smile more than they frown
They can talk about things that interest you (talking about books earns triple points)
They take pride in their appearance
They are more interested in YOU than in giving you the low-down on themselves
It doesn’t hurt anything if your eyes don’t bleed when you look at them. And if you have a shared hobby that can act as a first date locale, it’s even better. (I’m thinking Giants baseball, but WW is looking hard at the Air Museum.)
Sadly, it’s much more likely for the red flags to start popping up after a few dates. Most people but on their best behavior when they first ask someone out on a date. If you spot any of these flags BEFORE the first date, run fast and far in the other direction.
These are obvious signs that a date will be less than fun:
They check themselves out in the mirror or fish for compliments
All conversation revolves around them
They interrupt you when you’re talking
They say negative things about other people
They flirt with others while you’re together
They don’t like to read (WW shook her head over this one, so I lined it out)
They spend more time checking their phone than interacting with you
They flash cash or name drop or try to impress you with superficial things
Yes, these are all huge hints that as far as this relationship goes the bridge is out ahead. It’s one reason why WW prefers to hang out with her friends over spending time with someone she might find attractive or date-able.
Keep it Fun
Dating can be an entertaining aside, but WW opposes the idea that dating never leads to anything more. Most people use the dating game to sift through possible marriage candidates.
WW has no intention of putting a non-hero in the line of fire.
However, if two people honestly are just looking for companionship, dating can be one way to find it. Friends can date. Dating doesn’t automatically indicate a romantic liaison.
If you’re dating just for fun, let people know up front. Maybe not before the first or second date (because “I’m dating just for fun” puts some people off), but definitely before things heat up to a beyond-friendship level.
Do you have any dating advice for Wonder Woman? Is Steve Trevor her one and only love? Do you agree or disagree with her tips?
Superman: the perfect ideal. Flawless. All the men want to be him. All the women know he’s too good to be true. What the man needs is a little cellulite.
Okay, maybe that’s more of a woman flaw. But let’s face it, perfect heroes are unrealistic. The average person doesn’t relate to them.
This is why every great writer knows that the best protagonists have a flaw -or twenty. It’s not called an Achilles Heel for nothing. When the only thing that can defeat a guy is a piece of rock from an extinct planet in a different universe, there’s not much tension in the story.
Why so Perfect?
(And yes, I hear the Joker saying this just like he does the iconic line “Why so serious?”)
According to the director of the newest Wonder Woman film (coming in June 2017), there’s a reason Superman has over-inflated muscles and perfect hair. Apparently, this image is how men want to see themselves. “That makes them feel like the hero they want to be” says Jenkins.
Ugh. And I thought women were the only one with messed-up body image issues.
I do NOT think a man with pecs and biceps bigger than his thighs is the ideal image of a hero. And certainly not a REAL man.
Do we really need a perfect ideal?
If the answer is yes, let me direct you to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Within those pages, you will meet the flawless, ideal man. He was perfect in every way.
And guess what, he didn’t have sculpted abs or a poster-boy face. In fact, he was pretty ordinary. Records from history and the Bible (which is an accurate historical accounting but since it’s considered a religious book some people equate it to a fairy tale), Jesus Christ was so average-looking that he wouldn’t garner a second look.
It wasn’t his physical appearance that made him incredible. Nor was it his ability to heal every disease and raise people from the dead (although those are God-like qualities for sure).
He opened his mouth and spoke with authority. Wisdom dripped from his lips. Furthermore, he walked His talk.
So, if you’re looking for a perfect hero – there you go.
Why flaws Make it better
Most of us prefer to see a little bit of ourselves in the guy we root for in a story. You know, someone who messes up. Says the wrong thing. Trips over untied shoelaces. Burns the biscuits.
These slights and failures give us hope. Hope that maybe we will be better tomorrow.
We need reassurance that our major mess-up today didn’t end every future opportunity.
Have you ever walked out of an interview thinking, “I nailed that” only to get the call (or worse yet a form email) stating they’d hired someone else? That’s disappointing, sure. But we don’t condemn ourselves as a failure in those cases.
We notice we have mustard in that spot just below our throat that we can only see in the mirror. Our tongue tripped over the answer to the technical questions. Nothing but a blank slate came to mind when the interviewer asked, “Why should I hire you?”
After that interview? We know it’s our fault they offered the job to someone else. They’d have to be idiots to hire someone who couldn’t even answer a few questions with panache.
When our heroes slip and get mud on their faces, we feel for them. We’ve been there. We know the agony.
If they get up and save the world afterward, it makes up willing to hold up our chin and try again at whatever defeated us today. Sure, it might be fiction, but when it pulls us in, it becomes as true to us as the sunrise.
We need to believe that no person is beyond redemption. Every mistake must have a counterpoint, a way to make things right.
It shouldn’t be easy. The bigger the mess up, the longer and harder the climb to success should be.
We’re more likely to relate to Batman because we understand his demons. We can feel the pain with the Arrow because we’ve experienced life-crushing losses too.
Superman? There’s no Kryptonite in our world, so his perfection holds us at arm’s length.
What sort of “cellulite” would you give Superman to make him more relatable? What character flaws pull you closest to the heroes in a story?
Our world needs superheroes. Instead, we’re plagued with villains. If Wonder Woman were here, she would stop terrorists in their tracks.
Since this is an election year, every little thing that happens in America gets used as propaganda. For this campaign or against that one.
And when the big things happen? You know, like a hundred people getting shot in a night club? The politicians are crass enough to use that as a stepping stone for their platform.
Terror and Terrorism
I’ve been in a car accident. I’ve been in several almost accidents. What I felt in those moments that stretched into endlessness? Terror.
And it wasn’t very pleasant.
Maybe some of you get an adrenaline rush from it.
And I understand the rush that accompanies being dropped from a hundred feet above the ground only to be snapped back at seemingly the last moment. I’ve done it. It’s called Geronimo.
You know why that sort of terror is okay? Because I chose to inflict it on myself.
A terrorist on the other hand never asks permission. Or forgiveness for that matter.
Terrorism is the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes (according to dictionary.com)
Wonder Woman stops violence in its tracks. Her bracelets send bullets back at the shooters. Her lasso forces the truth out of them.
In short, there’s no intimidating her. And that’s what we need in this day and age.
Vote Wonder Woman
I avoid all things political. This is something WW and I have in common.
But enough is enough.
We could use someone dedicated to fighting for right in the current political climate. Someone who doesn’t shudder and hide when a violent act of terror is rained on innocent people. Someone whose motives serve others rather than themselves.
She won’t stand up and push to pass new laws that infringe on the rights of citizens. No call to ban guns (although she doesn’t need them to fight crime – lucky her) from WW. It’s not in her nature to look at the victims and make some statement about their guilt or innocence.
We’re all guilty of something. No one deserves to be gunned down in the middle of a night out.
It would be nice to have a leader who stood up and said, “This has to stop.”
If only we could dial up the Justice League or The Avengers.
Rat-a-tat-ta-tat. The sound echoes from behind the closed patio doors clear at the opposite end of the house. A headache pulses in my temples. No dream comes without a few headaches.
Case in point: my dream patio
One day we were talking to a landscape designer who was giving us the brush-off. After all, we waited until the middle of his busy season to ask for a design and a quote.
A few weeks later, a designer is sitting at our dining room table talking about payment plans.
Because a nearly 600 square foot patio of paving stones doesn’t fit the under-$10,000 budget we had for the project. Because dreams are costly. But that’s a subject for another post.
A week went by with nothing. Then everything snowballed and the work crew was showing up the next day – a full week before the original start date.
The first thing to go is the old patio.
Just like our life, if we want to start a new career or new hobby or new healthy lifestyle, we have to get rid of the old. It’s not enough to keep the card-making supplies in the back of the closet now that you’re into quilting. As long as they’re there to fall back on, you’ll be tempted to quit on quilting if it gets too difficult.
The workers needed a jackhammer to break down the less-than-100-square-foot cement patio. And it took them nearly two full days to render it into pieces small enough to recycle as gravel bedding beneath our new stone.
That’s the noise you heard at the beginning of this post.
And it gave me a headache. It made concentrating on writing difficult.
Because anything worth having will involve some uncomfortable episodes.
Clearing out the old is a messy process too.
Our outdoor cat shied away from the rubble when he came in for his food that night. The next morning, he waited atop one of the flat pieces to be let in for breakfast.
It’s great when we can recycle the old into the new, but most of the time it needs to be hauled off to the dump.
Second case in point: my dream of a writing contract (for a novel)
I’m still waiting to hear back from the publisher on the novel I submitted in May.
A vein popped in my forehead as I typed that.
The editor whose been my go-between with the publisher sent word that the publisher hasn’t even opened my manuscript. It’s on the top of the slush pile, though. The first order of business come August will be reading the manuscript so she can give me an answer.
Oh, it’s already August you say? Well then I should hear any day now.
My heart hurts as it expects a “no.” My head pounds out all sorts of platitudes that make my skull feel like a too-tight screw.
In a few weeks, I’ll post pictures of my dream patio (minus the fire pit, water feature, and lighted gardens which will come later). The days of taking ibuprofen and hiding out far from the patio doors won’t even be remembered.
Because a dream attained is worth the pain.
What dream is giving you headaches right now? Take a moment to imagine yourself on the pinnacle of attaining it. What do you see?
Television. That which has been dumbing down America since the 1950s.
Sorry, that’s what Wonder Woman says. And I agree with her.
According to a 2014 article in the New York Daily News, the average American watches more than five hours of television every day. That doesn’t include the hours surfing the Internet or playing on phones or tablets.
In a lifetime, the average American will spend NINE YEARS watching TV.
Not me. I’d rather read a book.
However, with so many people watching television, there must be something worth watching on it, right?
Here’s what our gal Wonder Woman watches:
Big Bang Theory
(I know all my Creationist friends just got offended by the name of this program. It’s a sit-com about nerdy scientists who obviously ascribe to this theory. Just because I watch it doesn’t change my belief about the origin of the universe.)
Four nerdy scientists who struggle to socialize in the real world.
Wonder Woman needs a good laugh after a long week of saving the world. The puns and lovable geekiness of this show gives her the warm fuzzies.
She would like to gag Sheldon from time to time and finds Raj adorable. It’s a peaceful thirty minutes away from reality.
(There are more than one? Well, whichever one is on when she flips on the TV is the one she watches.)
The inner workings of a criminal investigation amaze her. All that work scanning crime scenes for DNA and cloth fibers.
She prefers her take-action, catch-them-at-the-crime tactics to those microscopes and test tubes. Barring that, she will lasso her prime suspects and get the truth of the matter in a few moments.
The criminal justice system can take over once she’s got a signed confession, which she happily delivers to the police with her trussed up felon.
Our gal, WW, loves seeing red, white and blue waving in the wind while the athletes prove their physical stamina. (Yes, I mean the American flag. NO, the flag pictured here is NOT it.)
In fact, she knows she’s dressed for some beach volleyball. Her skin tingles at the thought of pitting herself against world-class athletes. You know in something that isn’t an Amazonian fight to the death.
It’s nice to see people in friendly competition for a change. There’s too much nasty back-biting and underhanded dealings in the real world.
Facing opponents in a physical challenge is something she understands.
The rules for fencing and shooting might be a little vague. Weapons used to do something other than neutralize the enemy? And still she’ll choose watching that over synchronized swimming.
What are you watching on TV these days? Make a recommendation for our girl WW.